By Christine Baskin
My separation and divorce was a mixed bag of emotions. Rage, fear, anxiety, disappointment…more fear. I had so many decisions to make all at once, and didn’t receive the support I really needed at the time from people I thought would always be there for me. People I’d invested years of my life into, were suddenly absent and couldn’t handle the valley I was walking through. So I know a thing or two about failed relationships, and now I can safely say-true forgiveness.
I tried praying for the people who had abandoned me, were in the process of hurting me, and even the people who were spreading false rumors about me all over town. People I once called family were now my enemies in a sense. I was shocked to say the least.
No matter how much I prayed, meditated on the Word, went up for altar calls, nothing seemed to work. Every emotion would rise to the surface again and again, every time I heard one of their names I’d cringe, and try to explain my side of the story, justifying why I was right, and they were wrong. Why God approved of me, and not of them. I was filled with pride, and though I had been wronged, every time I ran the re-runs of what happened, what had been done to me, it all re-surfaced. My motive was always to love the people who betrayed me, but I was guilty of not giving these offenses over to God, and the un-forgiveness stuck to me like gum on my shoe. Everywhere I walked, it followed me, squeaking with every step, preventing me from taking a normal stride. I wanted to scrape the gum off my shoe, but wasn’t willing to ask God how.
Today, four years later, I can laugh at all the lies that were said about me. Some of them absurd, some hurtful half-truths, and some just straight up lies. After I was convicted in my spirit for long enough, I decided to take it to the problem-solver, Jesus. And here’s what happened.
I was once an advocate for Christian counseling, and still am in certain circumstances of course. I think it can be very productive! However we don’t need to get stuck in a place of re-runs. In other words, we may never get answers to why someone mistreated us. We may never get apologies, or see repentance from them. But one thing we can do is move-on, and get on living our lives NOT talking about the betrayal of our enemies. Listen, people are gonna hurt us. It’s part of life, and Jesus even promises us that we will endure many trials, and people will even hate us for loving God! 1 Peter 1:6 & John 15:18. I know it feels good to vent, and tell someone your side of the story, to be justified before man. But if you want to get free, truly free, you must take every offence directly to the Father. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:18.
There were so many times I wanted to give my ex a piece of my mind…If I’m being truthful I still feel that way sometimes. Then I remember the example Jesus set for us, allowing us to follow in His footsteps as Daughters and Sons. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:23. This always helps me to get back on track! When I take my issue directly to God, and allow Him to do the work instead of me trying to fix it, reprove, rebuke someone in my own strength. Though justified, it wouldn’t do any good. Typically the person who has become your enemy is in that position for good reason. They aren’t seeking the heart of Jesus, or reconciliation, or repentance. So, don’t waste another minute trying to make things even-steven, or make someone see why they are wrong, and why. 1 Peter 1:8 reminds us why we should’t allow the pebble of offence to become a huge boulder, tripping us up, A stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense. They stumble because they disobey the word. Your destiny is to let those things go, at the throne of God, let Your Father be your defender! It may be helpful to you to study some of the names God is called by in the Word. Here are some of my favorites when you feel discouraged:
El Roi means “The God Who Sees” – I love the kindness and care that this name holds as it points to God’s character. He is one who chases after us, who follows us with goodness. He is the one who sees us when we feel lonely, all on our own, or when we just need the reminder that God is close. The name El Roi says to us that God is watching over all, that He sees the affairs of people, and knows when we feel lost and unloved.
Yahweh-Yireh means “The Lord Will Provide” – God will provide for our needs. Every one of them, He is faithful, He is able, nothing is too difficult for Him. Sometimes His timing is different than ours, maybe we feel that He’s forgotten and hasn’t heard our prayers.
Jehovah Rapha means “Healer, the Lord who heals you” – This name brings so much comfort and hope to many of us who have prayed for healing and deliverance from disease, illness, brokenness, or painful circumstances. It reminds us that God knows we’re in need of help, He understands we’re in need of healing, and He promises to redeem every broken place in our lives.
Some scriptures to think about:
It (love) does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…1 Corinthians 13:5
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5;23-24
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies! Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. Yet my prayer is continually against their evil deeds. Psalm 141
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger Ephesians 4:26
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:1-10
Credit to : http://www.ibelieve.com for names of God